July 20 2007
Sociology is an intriguing subject. Contrary to popular belief, wherein one feels one would study society and make statements about it, it actually helps you understand yourself. Something most social sciences do.
Sociology has helped me understand my location. It has helped me to know why do certain things trouble me. Why do I react adversely to certain comments? Where does my identity come from and how it isn’t the same for everyone else. It has helped me reflect on my own actions and question my beliefs.
My Mass Media course truly helped me question homogeneity. Sociology is helping me know why I prefer homogeneity. It is making me amoral ….. i.e. it is constantly challenging me not to make moral statements about others. It is asking me to understand a phenomenon rather than make judgements about it.
It is asking me to reflect on why was dowry instituted and the political-economy of marriage. It is rubbishing my ideas of women empowerment by showing me how many women still remain untouched by progress. It is showing me how numbers can deceive you and the prorportion of women receiving primary education is decreasing even as the number of women getting higher education is increasing!
It is making me question why are slums increasing in numbers and how that relates to the economy. It makes me see how certain spaces in urban areas are restricted to a few and privileges aren’t obtained in spite of having money.
It shows me caste isn’t dead. It points out that how communal tensions receive attention while caste conflicts remain invisible. It shows me how family is the site of violence. How it becomes the site for oppression, for power games and isn’t the sacrosanct ideal. It shows how the heterosexual, 4 member family becomes the norm, making all the other families abnormal. This needs to be questioned. By you and me. We need to ask why are single parent households looked down upon.
Often people wondered why did I choose sociology for my masters. But when I make such revolting statements or question their own beliefs, it disturbs them. It makes them uncomfortable and they would rather be in their stable comfort zones.
This is why I took sociology. I enjoy status quo and I know it isn’t good. Being a comfort zone doesn’t help. I enjoy sociology. It is disturbing. It is critical. It is unsettling.
And I like it that way :)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
For Pradeep.....
July 18th 2007
It’s the truth and I have to accept it. I am not fond of children and vice-versa. In fact I have had many instances wherein the moment children look at me, they cry or run away. Its as if my face says “I am your worst nightmare!” I can’t understand children. They are smart but will pretend to be stupid. They are funny but will cry. And they will bite!
But one child intrigued me. I met Pradeep, who is all of 5 years, at my home. He came with his parents who were fixing something in the home. He sat quietly and occasionally glanced around. I understood him. I know that feeling. Of being in a strange place and wondering what to do about it. I smiled at him and he looked at me. Just plain looked at me. Mom asked him his name and his mom told us that Pradeep couldn’t speak. He was weak and hence couldn’t speak.
I connected to him. At many levels, I enjoy not speaking. I enjoy being silent. Not that I can ever imagine his pain of not being able to communicate at all. But I knew that he enjoyed himself because I saw him play by himself many a times. I knew he didn’t feel anything unusual about himself and that’s how it has been with me. Everyone else has felt that I am different. But for me, everyone else is different :) Pradeep was like me.
We had just made tea and I offered him some and he lapped it up as if that’s the only tea he would get in a long long time. He then removed a chocolate from his pocket which his mom said he should offer me. He immediately hid it. I liked that. I liked the fact that he didn’t want to share his chocolate. I am very possessive about chocolates and with much reluctance I give it away to someone else :)
I like eating pasta and this Sunfeast Pasta offers Fixos. Those things you assemble to make small jeeps, helicopters, bicycles and cars. That’s the only toy I could offer to him. So I gave him a yellow and red jeep. He grabbed it, not once thinking of refusing or trying to be modest. I liked that. This was his reality. He didn’t have toys and as a child he shouldn’t be worrying about modesty :)
He didn’t play with the jeep. He put it in his pocket and for the 20 minutes he was in my home, he kept looking in his pocket to reassure himself that it was still there.
I saw him the other day in the building compound (his parents are construction workers) playing with the jeep. I smiled. But as soon as he saw me, he put the jeep quickly in his pocket. I could see that he feared I would ask for the jeep back and take away that joy from him. Mom said to him I wouldn’t take it. I didn’t say that. I simply walked away making him believe that I wouldn’t ever ask for the jeep again.
I had reassured one Pradeep and that was success enough :)
It’s the truth and I have to accept it. I am not fond of children and vice-versa. In fact I have had many instances wherein the moment children look at me, they cry or run away. Its as if my face says “I am your worst nightmare!” I can’t understand children. They are smart but will pretend to be stupid. They are funny but will cry. And they will bite!
But one child intrigued me. I met Pradeep, who is all of 5 years, at my home. He came with his parents who were fixing something in the home. He sat quietly and occasionally glanced around. I understood him. I know that feeling. Of being in a strange place and wondering what to do about it. I smiled at him and he looked at me. Just plain looked at me. Mom asked him his name and his mom told us that Pradeep couldn’t speak. He was weak and hence couldn’t speak.
I connected to him. At many levels, I enjoy not speaking. I enjoy being silent. Not that I can ever imagine his pain of not being able to communicate at all. But I knew that he enjoyed himself because I saw him play by himself many a times. I knew he didn’t feel anything unusual about himself and that’s how it has been with me. Everyone else has felt that I am different. But for me, everyone else is different :) Pradeep was like me.
We had just made tea and I offered him some and he lapped it up as if that’s the only tea he would get in a long long time. He then removed a chocolate from his pocket which his mom said he should offer me. He immediately hid it. I liked that. I liked the fact that he didn’t want to share his chocolate. I am very possessive about chocolates and with much reluctance I give it away to someone else :)
I like eating pasta and this Sunfeast Pasta offers Fixos. Those things you assemble to make small jeeps, helicopters, bicycles and cars. That’s the only toy I could offer to him. So I gave him a yellow and red jeep. He grabbed it, not once thinking of refusing or trying to be modest. I liked that. This was his reality. He didn’t have toys and as a child he shouldn’t be worrying about modesty :)
He didn’t play with the jeep. He put it in his pocket and for the 20 minutes he was in my home, he kept looking in his pocket to reassure himself that it was still there.
I saw him the other day in the building compound (his parents are construction workers) playing with the jeep. I smiled. But as soon as he saw me, he put the jeep quickly in his pocket. I could see that he feared I would ask for the jeep back and take away that joy from him. Mom said to him I wouldn’t take it. I didn’t say that. I simply walked away making him believe that I wouldn’t ever ask for the jeep again.
I had reassured one Pradeep and that was success enough :)
Sunday, July 01, 2007
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